It’s 3:45 am in Bangkok on December 23. I step out of a taxi and onto the set of Blade Runner. Bar carts, food stands, folding chairs and tiny tables dot the sidewalk. The bars close at midnight or 1:00, but the alcoholic and entrepreneurial spirits remain strong. Neon light illuminates the after-hours couples. Overhead the Skytrain’s concrete hulk makes the street feel more like a cave; it’s almost cozy. “See, I’m making a film . . .” I hear a guy say in an American accent to a doe-eyed Thai girl half his age and size. She leans across the table, if not truly rapt, then doing a damn good job of pretending. I find the modest entrance to the Ever Rich Inn. The night clerk has been expecting me. Five minutes later I lie down on the first real mattress to be under my body in months. I was here:
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Bangkok 2
Bangkok 1
After playing Santa to the Shane English Yuxi Christmas party, I change into my civvies and take a hired car to the Kunming airport.
In the departure lounge, I become an object of fascination to a group of Chinese tourists from Shenzhen. It starts when one of them asks if I’d pose for a picture with her. Then four or five more had to have the same: every laowai’s a rock star. They’re a fun bunch—nervous and excited. None of them have traveled outside China before, but now here they are about to board a flight to Thailand. And so am I.
The Ailao Mountains
I met my new friends Soli and Seka at 8:00 in the morning at their Yuxi wine shop. We set out in Soli’s mother’s immaculate Honda Accord, heading southwest toward Xinping. As we rolled down the superhighway, the CD player cranked out a mix of Taiwanese pop, Beijing Opera, and the vocal stylings of the ubiquitous (in China) Sarah McLachlan. West of Xinping, we got onto a smaller highway and began to climb into the Ailao Mountains. The morning fog hadn’t completely burned off, so in the distance the crenelated peaks seemed to dissolve into the sky.
The topography is like that of West Virginia magnified by a factor of 2.5.
We picked up an elderly Yi woman who was on her way to Xinhua for market day. She was beautiful: her skin was baked walnut-brown, her eyes twinkled, her silver teeth flashed with every easy smile.
We passed many other Yi people who were also heading to market.
Just outside of Xinhua, the highway was closed for repairs. We were shunted onto a small dirt road that seemed to just barely cling to the mountainsides. There were no guardrails and the drop-offs were steep and sheer. I watched the outside dualie wheel of the truck ahead of us slip over the edge on a particularly sharp switchback, but the inside wheel held. Herds of goats occasionally blocked our path.
The Accord bottomed out repeatedly, the trucks kicked up thick dust that made it hard to see, and the sharp curves and steep inclines soon had me nauseated.
After more than an hour of this, the detour finally returned us to a smooth paved road, much to my stomach’s relief. We stopped every few miles to look up at the springs that flowed down the hillsides and look down into the valleys that were so far below.
I had left my altimeter-equipped chronometer at home so I don’t know how high we were, but it looked to me like we were at least a vertical mile above the valley floor. Terraces clung to the mountainsides, some of which rose at angles of at least 60 degrees.
By a spring near Jiasa Town, a farm truck pulled up just behind us, its engine steaming.
These trucks look home-brewed, but are actually manufactured to spec and are common in this part of Yunnan. They are essentially truck bodies mounted to tractor drivetrains, with undersized, uncovered, underpowered engines out front.
The driver of the steaming truck snapped off a dried reed and dipped it into the radiator to determine the coolant level. He then took a plastic jug to the nearby spring, filled it, and topped off his thirsty ride. I was fascinated by this vehicle and asked the driver if I could drive a little way.
As we drove deeper into the mountains, the springs became bigger and more numerous as we got near the Yuan River. We stopped so Soli and Seka could pose for pictures.
We stopped at the Shimen Gorge, and while Soli (who had done all the driving) took a well-deserved nap, Seka and I went hiking. This was the most beautiful place I have been in China–and one of the most beautiful anywhere.
After this five mile trek, the sun was sinking and we started back toward home. The detour on the dirt road didn’t seem so bad going down as it had coming up, and traffic was a lot lighter. We stopped at a Dai village for dinner.
We finally returned to Yuxi about 14 hours after we’d left. It was a great day. The news media have run many stories recently about China’s environmental degradation. These articles give the impression that the whole country is an ecological hellhole. This may be true for some parts of China, but up in the Ailao Mountains the air is clean, the water is pure, and the countryside is a beautiful as any I have seen.
Xishuangbanna Redux–Part IV
On Friday, I walked to the Jinghong southern bus station and caught a bus home to Yuxi. The weather was beautiful and the Yunnan scenery spectacular. These photos, hurriedly snapped from a moving bus, really don’t do it justice.
This trip wouldn’t have been half as interesting without Rachel and her wonderful family. I resolved to make sure I always go out of my way–just as they did–to make visitors from far away feel incredibly welcome.
Read Xishuangbana Redux–Part I.
Xishuangbanna Redux–Part III
On Thursday morning, Wang and Rachel once again picked me up and drove me two and a half hours southeast to a rural village about 50 kilometers from the Laotian border. The highway was jammed; the National Day vacation really lasts all week. After about an hour and a half we exited the superslab for a secondary paved road which took us through several medium-sized towns and a national preserve. The preserve is marked by high cliffs, dense rainforest vegetation, and caves that were used by the People’s Liberation Army during the war with Japan.
Then we turned up a dirt road and got out at Meng Xing village #9, part of the town of Mengla, where the relatives of one of Rachel’s cousins live. Other relatives arrived around the same time. We were less than 50 kilometers from the Laotian border and about 150 kilometers from Dien Bien Phu, Vietnam, where the French got their asses handed to them in 1954 by the Viet Minh. I was here:
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Li Jian Wei and his family live in what I can best describe as a rural row house, a long rectangular structure built of rough grey brick that is divided into housing for about a dozen families. I believe it dates to the early days of the People’s Republic. Jo En Lai took a special interest in Xishuangbanna and did much to develop its economy. He saw the Mengla area as a good source of rubber, and so collective farms were established. There weren’t enough local people there at the time to work the land, so the government “encouraged” (in Rachel’s words, the accuracy of which I cannot assess) people from other Chinese provinces to move there. Rachel’s relatives were one such family. More recently, the government has allowed individual farmers to run their own businesses and control their own houses and farms.
Li Jian Wei’s house is pretty basic in its construction and amenities: conrete floors, corrugated metal roof/ceilings. There are three medium sized rooms, two of which are open partially to the sky, and a couple of small bedrooms. The kitchen sink is a pipe mounted low to the ground on a sloping concrete slab that drains into a trough.
The stove is a wood-fired box with two enormous built-in woks.
There are no kitchen counters or cabinets or closets.
The toilet is a shed out back with a hole in the floor.
Beds are blankets spread out on the concrete. There is trash and junk strewn about, some of which is occasionally taken out to a dumpsite and burned.
Though his house is a very modest affair, Li Jian Wei’s farm is a source of obvious pride and delight to him. Shortly after we arrived, he took us out to see his rubber trees.
He explained how he makes spiral cuts into their bark and peels it away. Then he drives a small metal trough into the tree at the lowest point of the spiral and hangs a cup below it. The rubber sap oozes out of the tree where the bark has been removed and spirals down the cut, goes into the trough and then into the bowl. It takes about six hours for the bowl to fill. A tree managed in this way will produce rubber for a good 35 years.
The rubber sap is then poured into a large round bowl. Acid is added to get it to firm up a little. Then the resulting wheel of rubber (which looks and feels for all the world like a cheese wheel) is removed from the bowl, driven to a factory in town, and sold for ¥80 (about $12.90). Here is one of Li Jian Wei’s neighbors with his trike truck loaded up with rubber and ready to head for the factory.
Beyond the forested area where the rubber trees grow is more of Li Jian Wei’s farm. Though the tropical soil is very fertile, the land is so hilly and steep that all his crops are jammed together. What to my suburban eyes at first seemed like nothing more than a riot of undifferentiated weeds was actually a very productive garden. Almost everything growing there is edible: peppers, melons, bananas, plantains, chives, ginger, bamboo, coconuts, and a number of fruits and vegetables I couldn’t begin to identify.
He also has a pond stocked and teeming with small fish.
He has chickens. He and his family subsist pretty comfortably on the food he grows.
Back at his farmhouse, some of the other relatives were cooking us a sumptuous lunch.
All of this food is home grown. That Li Jian Wei’s wife and relatives could cook so many different and delicious dishes in such rustic conditions seemed almost magic. And it was delicious, especially the dumplings (made from fresh eggs and fresh ground chicken), the fish stew, the spiced bamboo, and a green leafy vegetable resembling spinach but sweeter. At lunch, Li Jian Wei’s wife brought out some hooch to toast my arrival. She makes it by fermenting and distilling rice mash, adding honey, putting it in a large glass jar and burying it for over ten years. The result was something smooth, sweet and potent that tasted very much like Southern Comfort.
After lunch, Li Jian Wei cut down a large bunch of bananas to give to the relatives who had come to visit. We packed them into the cars and after warm goodbyes were back on the road to Jinghong.
Read Xishuangbana Redux–Part I.
Xishuangbanna Redux–Part II
After morning toast and a couple cups of coffee Wednesday morning at the Mei Mei Cafe, I rented a bicycle and crossed the Mekong River heading east. My route took me through parts of Jinghong that have been developed as tourist destinations. There were rows of handsome shops and restaurants fronted by elephant statues/streetlights/flowerpots. At the end of the street was a large Buddhist temple.
New apartments are being built as vacation homes for wealthier Chinese people. And though I don’t usually post examples of Chinglish, the signs for this development had a certain crackpot poetry that was just too good to pass up.
It didn’t take too long, though, before I left the rich resort atmosphere behind and was in the midst of some of the most severe poverty I’ve seen in China.
Down one of those streets, though, was an amazing sight.
There were two kids, about eight years old.
Lying on a piece of cardboard.
Under a parked truck.
Doing their homework.
On a school holiday.
I had to admire their dedication and resourcefulness. It was doubtless cooler under the truck than it was in the nearby shacks. I recall that at that age, there was a sweetly neurasthenic quality to lying down in a confined space. And if I ever hear American students complaining that they couldn’t do their homework because they had no place to study, I’m going to think of those kids.
I didn’t get as deep into the countryside as I’d hoped; I wilted a little in the tropical heat. I headed back toward Jinghong, stopping along the banks of the Mekong to see motorcycles being washed and elaborate riverboats pulled up at a dock.
I arrived back at my hotel soaked with sweat, but definitely happy.
After a nap, I was picked up again by Rachel and her husband, who took me out to dinner with her high school English teacher, his wife, and a former schoolmate of hers who is now a cardiologist. Once again, the food was delicious (a beef stock hotpot, broiled potatoes with hot spices, and chive soup) and the company was warm and welcoming.
Just when I thought the evening was over, we decided to head back to the Mei Mei Cafe for tiramisu and ice cream. Rachel’s extended family showed up and a good time was had by all. However, I’ve probably gained five pounds in two days from the constant eating.
Read Xishuangbana Redux–Part I.
Xishuangbanna Redux–Part I
We crossed into the Tropic of Cancer on Tuesday at 11:15 am traveling southwest in a comfortable Nissan Tiida. Sophie’s husband Wang was driving and her father, Mr. Li, was riding shotgun. Sophie and I were in back. It was a much more comfortable and interesting ride than my last trip to Xishuangbanna.
It was National Day, the second or third biggest holiday on the Chinese calendar, a celebration the founding of the People’s Republic 64 years ago. Traffic was heavy but never stopped moving. In honor of the holiday (and probably to make traffic flow more smoothly) collection of tolls was suspended.
Rachel is a new friend of mine who works at Yuxi People’s Hospital. We chatted about our respective national holidays as the kilometers rolled by. I told her about Thanksgiving, but she already knew all about it from having seen an episode of her favorite TV show, Friends.
We passed by houses of the Yi people, neat white structures with circular symbols resembling hex signs.
We stopped at the village of Mohei for lunch: rice, spicy beef with noodles, fresh bamboo with green onions, a tofu hotpot, fried pork belly strips, and grilled eggplant. The restaurant was little more than a corrugated roof mounted over a concrete slab and the kitchen was about the size of an American bathroom, but the food was good and plentiful.
Once we were on the road again, the scenery became more dramatic. We drove by impossibly steep mountainsides that were meticulously terraced and planted with tea and coffee. I tried counting the terrace levels on the highest mountainsides and lost count around seventy. Foliage became more colorful, with purple phoenix flowers blooming by the roadside and banana trees growing in the forest beyond.
We entered a rainforest preserve where elephants still live in the wild. In fact, the G85 is the only highway I’ve seen that has an elephant channel under the road so that elephants can safely cross–which raises the question, why did the elephant cross the road, anyway?
Mr. Li is 57 and works for the Chinese Department of Human Resources and Social Security. I remarked that he had seen a lot of changes in China in his lifetime and asked him what he thought the best and worst changes were. The best change, he replied, was that when he was young, people didn’t have enough food or enough money to buy food, if it was even available. Now people have enough food and money. But the worst change, he went on, was that people have lost faith. I asked what he meant, whether he was referring to religious faith, faith in government, or faith in society. All of those things, he said. “You used to be able to count on people to know right from wrong, for the most part. But then twenty years ago, China opened itself up to a lot of outside influences and now there are some people who don’t believe in anything having to do with right and wrong at all.”
In Jinghong, the capital of Xishuangbanna, I checked into the same fleabag hotel I’d stayed in last time. The desk clerk tried to charge me ¥260 a night. I was livid. I’d been quoted ¥200 on the phone last week when I made the reservation, and even that rate was more than three times as much as I’d paid a month ago. Canny Chinese businesses jack up prices ridiculously around National Day to take advantage of the surge in demand, but this was absurd. The desk clerk spoke no English, so I let loose with a tirade of pure gibberish with a few profanities mixed in. The clerk looked alarmed, glanced over at her manager, who nodded. Presto: it was all a big misunderstanding and we were back at a mere ¥200. The clerk collected my passport to run it over to the police station; foreigners have to register with the local authorities wherever they stay the night. I was stashed in room 407, the same putrid pink and purple room I had last time, which I shared during my stay with a small tan lizard.
After a quick nap, I was picked up once again by Rachel and her family. We headed out of the city to the town of Gasa, where there is a Dai village devoted to the restaurant trade. According to Rachel, there had long been a Dai community at that site, but it was quite poor. About ten years ago, the government redeveloped the area and built new houses, a Buddhist temple, and other buildings. The houses double as restaurants–or maybe the restaurants double as houses–and the area is now quite prosperous, with 80% of the people in the community working in the booming village restaurant trade.
Rachel’s family was warm, funny, and welcoming. Her grandmother, 88 years old, kissed my hand when she met me and seemed to generally glow with welcome and acceptance.
Her two aunties bickered like a pair of old comediennes over the few words of English they shared between them. Her husband is a big NBA fan, and we made plans to watch some games together once the season starts. Her father asked if I wanted to have a drink with him. I accepted and soon some of the proprietor’s homemade rice wine hooch (presented in a repurposed plastic water bottle) was lifting our spirits. It being National Day, I toasted China, Xi Jinping, and Mr. Li’s family. The food was delicious and included rice noodles in a tomato-based stew, pork, chick and fish barbeque, some kind of vegetable that tasted like spicy peas, fried pickle skins, and lots of other dishes all served family style on a large lazy Susan table.
It was wonderful to be among family. It was my 103rd day in China and was probably my best.
Read Xishuangbana Redux–Part II.
Mekong River Blues
Fifty four hours after returning from Hong Kong, I found myself in another Yuxi bus station boarding the night bus to Xishuangbanna. It sure weren’t no Greyhound.
Do you wanna
Go to Xishuangbanna?
Then come along with me.
They got the Dai and the Thai
And the Hmong in Jinghong
And the shao kao can’t be beat.
Modeling the other passengers, I removed my shoes upon boarding and placed them in a red plastic bag. Then I stepped inside a space configured like the cabins at the Poconos summer camp I went to as a boy.
There were three end-to-end stretches of double bunk beds, one by each row of windows and another running the length of the center. The counselor/driver occupied a special area up front while we camper/passengers filed in and dibs’d our beds. (Look! There’s Billy Collins on the lower bunk. And he’s making a lanyard!)
I tried to climb into the first available upper berth, but I just didn’t fit no matter how I contorted myself. The driver and some of the passengers stared and laughed. After ritually thrice declining the driver’s offer of more spacious accommodations, I gratefully moved to the rear, where the high bunk spanned the bus’s full width. There was already one guy up there on the left, so I snugged myself in against the right side. It was still far from comfortable: not enough headroom to sit up, not enough length to stretch out, and not enough padding to let me forget that the back of a bus is always the bumpiest part.
I just dozed off when the diesel roared and the bus began to roll southwest. I drowsed fitfully and uncomfortably for the next ten hours, jolted to full consciousness by every middling bump in the road. When I finally disembarked it was raining and I felt remarkably unrefreshed.
Xishuangbanna is an autonomous prefecture of China and home to the Dai people, relatives ethnically and etymologically to the Thai. It’s situated on the Mekong River where China, Laos and Burma converge.
The bus let me off in the capital city of Jinghong.
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A gateway to Southeast Asia, Jinghong is a very much a tourist town, for good and ill. It has cafes that cater to the vagabond set, warm, welcoming places that offer coffee, food, advice, beer, company, WiFi, and music. (As I write this, I’m sitting in the Meimei Cafe drinking Hani Coffee while they’re playing KC and the Sunshine Band doing “Boogie Man.” Anchun and her staff have taken excellent care of me here.)
Next door is the Mekong Cafe, where Nuhi (a Dutch/Albanian mutt) and Greg (a Frenchman) serve up the best pizza in Yunnan.
The streets are thick with palm trees and the markets overflow with fresh fruit. The town is being developed as a vacation destination for the Chinese, however, which has had some unfortunate results. Large garish hotels blight the streets.
Rows and rows of shops sell the same mass-produced wooden elephants, jade jewelry, and tea shop paraphernalia. It’s like Pigeon Forge, only dirtier.
I wanted very badly to get out of Jinghong and to explore the countryside. I made arrangements to rent a bicycle, but then I was hit by a wicked case of Chairman Mao’s Revenge and spent the next 36 hours laying sweaty on a bed in a cheap (¥60 a night, about $9.80) hotel room staring at the ceiling and doing a sad impression of Captain Willard in the opening of Apocalypse Now.
The flora and the fauna
Here in Xishuangbanna
I never will forget.
But I got gut-sick
And I couldn’t do dick
But puke and shit and sweat.
When I mustered up a little energy I was able to walk only a few blocks and snap a few pix before returning to bed.
By the time my gut returned to normal, it was time to head back to Yuxi. I took the day bus back, which mercifully had a conventional seating configuration.
I’ll go back to Xishuangbanna and explore more of the region. From what I saw out the bus window, it’s a beautiful area. I hope that next time I’ll be in better condition to appreciate it.
There’s heavenly manna
Down in Xishuangbanna,
But next time I hope to lose
That keep-you-up-all-night
Stomach parasite
And the Mekong River blues.
Hong Kong: Leftovers
I’ve been back from Hong Kong for forty hours, but I can’t let it go. Here are a few more observations from my notes and my camera that didn’t fit into my earlier posts on my visa run and visits to Wan Chai.
• Top-flight tutors here dress and are paid like pop stars and advertise in the subway. This gladdens my little academical heart.
• Speaking of the subway, the MTR is wonderful: efficient, clean, quiet and cheap. But why are Wan Chai and Chai Wan both stops on the same line? Doesn’t that threaten to rupture the space/time continuum or something?
• One reason to take the subway is because cabbies are fickle. I was refused a ride three times when I wasn’t going the way the driver wanted. If you want a cab going east, you’d better not try hailing one heading west.
• Chunking Mansions is a decaying commercial building incongruously set in the upscale Tsim Sha Tsui where you will find Ivorians, Nepalis, Sikhs, Somalis, Indians, Saudis, Pakistanis, and many others manning food stalls from all over the world and selling all kinds of goods, legal and otherwise. I was urged to buy Nepalese karaoke CDs, a bed for the night, hot SIM cards, discounted foreign currency, DelMonte Kernel Corn, visas to anywhere in the world, ketamine, Japanese pornography, and the iPhone 7 (“not available yet, special for you, Sir!”), but declined all such offers. Instead, I got my Indian food fix: some yummy samosas and chicken curry. The strangest shop I saw sold both halal food and Hennessy cognac. I was a little reluctant to shoot pictures in this environment, settling for a stairwell shot of the wiring that powers the building.
• There seem to be a lot of very tall white guys here. What is it about Hong Kong that attracts guys north of 6’5″? I’m not used to this.
• You gotta love a town where the Alpha Romeo dealership is next to the Maserati dealership is next to the Lotus dealership is next to the Lamborghini dealership. Makes those impulse buys so much easier.
• There’s something strange about a place where cigarette boxes are required to display large gruesome pictures of smokers’ corpses but Coke Zero is marketed as a sports/health drink.
Hong Kong: Wan Chai
As one wag put it, there are two primary modes on Lockhart Road: either you pay to get laid or you splay to get paid. The street runs like a vein full of Viagra through Wan Chai, the legendary home of Suzie Wong and her ilk.
Suzie’s descendants circa 2013 are Filipina B-girls with big anime eyes, Asian/Spanish genes, and flexible ethics. They’re beautiful, but they don’t want their pictures taken; that would be like giving it away.
For old times’ sake, I stop into the Wild Cat, one of the smaller ecdysiastical venues. Mama-san has worked there ten years and is expert at separating slightly buzzed and horny round-eyes from their dollars. Her girls rotate out every six months when their visas expire. They wire money home every week, fabricating tales of their profitable jobs as “receptionists” in Hong Kong. Then they return to Quezon or Cebu or Manila or Tagaytay.
A drunk blonde Brit is guided in by the street touts and almost immediately passes out on the couch by the door. This is prime real estate, since the area can be curtained off for costly lap dances and other more intimate activities. Mama-san gets the bouncer, a middle-aged accountant with thick glasses and a knuckle-duster, who gently but firmly expels the inebriate. A girl dances topless and bored on the tiny stage behind the bar. Her expression confirms that she knows she has the worst job in the place. The B-girls at least get a commission on the HK$240 thimbles of red wine they wheedle the clientele into buying for them, but the strippers get near zip.
A little later, I repair to The Old China Hand for ethanol and quiet reflection. It looks like a real bar, something familiar and comforting that I haven’t seen for ten weeks.
But though it looks like a proper British pub, it can’t escape its environment. “You want a massage with a happy ending?” the barmaid asks me. I am amused: “Is that how this place got its name?” The barmaid looks embarrassed. She leans in close. “I’m just doing a favor for the girls outside,” she says. “You know.” Yeah, I know. A favor and 25% off the top. That’s Wan Chai.
I survey the crowd: mostly older Brits at this hour. I wind up talking to Geoffrey, who really is an old China hand, a merchant marine navigator who’s traveled all over the world and has lived in Hong Kong for the last 15 years. He’s obviously a regular here.
He’s also a terrific raconteur, with stories of being chased by a mob through the streets of Jerusalem into the safety of the King David Hotel, of revenges visited upon nouveau riche and fatuous cruise ship passengers, and of his obsessive and psychopathic housekeeper here in Hong Kong. I left when he started nodding off.
The whole Wan Chai scene was intoxicating–and I don’t just mean the Carlsberg. The mix of old Britannia, the oldest profession, Filipina morsels and Cantonese cuisine is just right. If I’d had more time, I would have stayed. There are a million stories waiting to be written about such a place.