The Famous Laowai of Zhuge East Road

Back in the US when I was training for Ride the Rockies, I used to get massages once a month or so. I fell out of the habit about a year and a half ago. But since there are several massage parlors right outside my apartment on Zhuge East Road, I decided that I would see what Chinese foot massage was all about.

I stood at the doorway to one establishment. Two women, one young and one older, enthusiastically beckoned me in. When I set foot inside, there was much excited chatter and giggling. They asked me which one of them I wanted to massage me. I chose the younger one; the older one looked positively beefy and I feared she would maim me.

The younger woman, who told me her English name was Emma, led me into a room which had two reclining chairs. I sat down on one, removed my shoes and socks, and rolled up my jeans. Emma put a plastic liner inside a shallow wooden bucket and filled it halfway with warm water. She then mixed in a powder which I think was mostly cinnamon. I gently plopped my feet in. It felt nice–warm and very slightly tingly.

Another guy came in, sat on the other recliner, pulled off his sandals, and smoked a cigarette. Not my idea of a relaxing massage environment, but when in China….

As my feet soaked, Emma moved around in back of the chair and began massaging my scalp, face, neck and shoulders. This was interrupted many times as she sent and received texts on her cell phone. I eventually realized that she was texting a service that translates Chinese into English.

Through this cumbersome method, she asked me where I was from and what I was doing in Yuxi. Then she asked if she could take my picture. Sure, why not? She took several photos of me with her phone and then shot some selfies of us together. She was very excited and pleased by this.

Then she said, “It would be my pleasure to go with you” and asked for my phone number. Wow. Yuxi women move fast. I smiled and said that she was very nice. I’m not sure she knew what to make of my reply–which was exactly my intention.

Emma pulled my feet out of the tub and dried them carefully. She then began massaging my feet with two different kinds of creams, one cool and watery and the other warm and oily. Then, from the next room, I heard the older woman exclaim excitedly in Chinese, “There’s a laowai (foreigner) in the next room!” Another woman came in as I was getting my massage and wanted her picture taken with me. She sat down on the recliner next to me, cuddled up, shot several pix, and went away giggling.

Emma massaged my feet some more. It felt good and I finally started to relax and close my eyes–but when I opened them, I was jolted by the sight of two more women staring at me from the doorway. Seeing that I wasn’t zoning out any more, they too asked if they could take pictures with me. Click, click, click–I thought the whole thing was hilarious. The women were all being giggly and silly and talking about how long my legs were. Then the beefy woman came in and wanted a photo too. By this time, I was still amused but was starting to feel like a cross between a movie star and a zoo animal. I grinned at Emma and pulled my hoodie over my face. She understood. I felt kind of bad for the guy in the recliner next to me. None of the women there were paying him the slightest attention.

After the foot massage, Emma asked me if I wanted a body massage as well–“my treat.” Well, sure. We went into another room where there was a massage table. I wasn’t sure what to do or to expect and asked her if I should take my clothes off. No, that was not required. I laid down on my back. My feet hung about ten inches off the end of the table. Emma then began a vigorous leg and arm massage, using her hands, elbows, knees and feet. I can’t say it was pleasant–it was too rough for that–but who knows, maybe it was just what I needed.

I put my socks and shoes back on, thanked Emma and the beefy woman, and left feeling like some kind of minor celebrity. It’s quite possible that I was the first Westerner ever to go into that shop. And by now, five different women have probably posted pictures of themselves with me all over Sina Weibo (Chinese Twitter).